Friday, January 18, 2013

Bleak House Undergoes Victorian Renovation



Yesterday, Mademoiselle Hortense, Dr. Woodcourt, and Tom-all-alone’s Jo, happened upon each other in the streets of London.  As Lady Dedlock recently relieved Madam Hortense of her position at Chesney Wold, the French maiden sought to ruin the Lady out of revenge.  Dr. Woodcourt, who had recently returned from his worldly travels with the Victorians to lands of China, India, and the like, possessed a “medical” supplement, opium, of which he supplied to Madam Hortense out of vengeance for his poor, deceased friend Nemo (who died of an opium overdose), and whom Dr. Woodcourt believed to have been linked in some way to Lady Dedlock.  Since neither Mademoiselle Hortense nor Dr. Woodcourt felt obliged to involve themselves directly in the distribution of the illegal substance to Lady Dedlock, which was to alleviate her boredom but resulted in a fatal overdose, the two conspirators hired the lowly Jo to do their dirty bidding.
Later, when taken in for questioning, Jo informed authorities that he knew “nothink” of the situation.  However, when bribed with five shillings and three pennies, Jo was quick to announce his employers and went on his way.  When Dr. Woodcourt was arrested, he was asked as to why he would help Madam Hortense, he said he was reminded of his grand adventures with the Victorians and he couldn’t possibly pass on the opportunity to gain the Lady’s money.  Mademoiselle Hortense has yet to be captured and detained for her involvement.

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